Most students in high school suffer from one of the most common insecurities: acne. Red, pesky bumps crowded my skin for years until I finally decided enough was enough. About a year ago, I began an eight-month medication that tortured my skin and body throughout the entirety of the treatment. This treatment is Isotretinoin, or commonly known as Accutane. Put simply, Accutane is an oral medication that helps decrease facial oil production resulting in fewer breakouts.

Accutane targets those with severe acne who have exhausted almost every other option. In my experience, Accutane congested my skin with the worst acne I’ve ever endured in hopes that it would cease to exist on my body by the end of my treatment.

My mom was quite reluctant to put me on this medication due to its numerous side effects. Some of these side effects included dry skin, nose bleeds, dry lips, cracking skin, joint pain, back pain, dizziness, depression and more. I suffered from almost all of these, constantly uncomfortable and in pain. I carried an excessive amount of chapstick with me wherever I went in hopes of soothing my dry lips; however, there was nothing I could do about the aches I felt in my bones and muscles.

The absolute worst part of this treatment was the countless impurities that crowded my skin each day. During the eight months, I was on Accutane, I winced almost every time I looked in the mirror because I was ashamed of who I was and what I looked like. My skin and acne was the only thing I noticed when I saw myself. I suffered from chest and back acne as well, so I resorted to sweatshirts and turtlenecks each day at school.

As I walked through the hallways every day, I noticed the glances and grimaces people gave me when spotting my skin. Some people began talking to me less and refraining from saying hi to me in the halls either out of embarrassment or pity. At the end of the day, I realized that if people can’t accept me for who I am, then that is their problem.

Accutane was both a physical and an emotional obstacle for me. In the end, I discovered that I am more than my body. I transformed into a much more confident person because I learned how to accept myself, despite what I looked like.

Growing up, especially during high school, it is so easy to get caught up in how you look and what people think of you, but that’s not what is important. I faced many hardships during the duration of this medication, but I don’t regret taking it. Accutane taught me so much and helped shape who I am today. I finally learned that looks aren’t everything and discovered the people that will stick with me through thick and thin.  

Going on Accutane was ultimately a success for my skin. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done but also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The acne I suffered from left countless scars on my skin that now act as a reminder of who I am. I now can finally accept the girl looking back at me in the mirror.